and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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