I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
