I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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