tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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