I like to think it a success when the cops are called
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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