Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize