I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
