Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
