Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Randomize
