Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
