I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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