I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I yelled at your uterus for you.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
