Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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