so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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