I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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