I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize