their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I have aggressive nipples.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
