she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
How naked do you want me to be?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
