Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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