her facebook's as public as her vagina
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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