It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
