She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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