Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
