New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Do you remember whose house we're in?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
