yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
