i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
