I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize