i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
