At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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