when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
