So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
