Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
