I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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