in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
