You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
