This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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