he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
