So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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