Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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