Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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