Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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