They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
