does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
