WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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