Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
