I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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