Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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