So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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