I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
