Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize