who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
