He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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