did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize