my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
