ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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