Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
