Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
