He uses pillows to masturbate.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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