just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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