no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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