And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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