I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
