Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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