so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
