What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
After tacos, we're chasing women.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
