I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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