Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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