so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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