I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
