Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
