He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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